The backstory is simple, and for Crouch routine. On
July 12, out for lunch at Tartine in the West
Village, Crouch spotted Peck, who'd trashed his book
Don't the Moon Look Lonesome a few years back. After
greeting Peck with one hand, Crouch smacked him with
the other. "What I would actually have preferred to
happen," says Crouch, "was that I had the presence of
mind to hawk up a huge oyster and spit it in his
face."
Crouch claims he recieved several calls thanking him
for the act, which wouldn't be a surprise given that
Peck made his name by penning extended negative and,
often personal, reviews of other fiction writers.
This was not a moment of hot-headed indiscretion.
Crouch may use his perch at the Daily News to inveigh
against gangsta rap with all deliberate fury and
alarm ("Hip Hop's Thugs Hit New Low," "Hip Hop Gets
The Bruising It Deserves," or "Morally, Allen
Iverson's a Bad Guy"), but his habit of violent
exchanges with writers and editors puts him a notch
above Snoop on the ne'er-do-well scale. In most cases
gangsta rap is just talk—Biggie and Tupac are the
exceptions.
But while Crouch has yet to peel caps, the gangsta
ethos is realer for him than it is for your average
gun-talker.
"The thing is that Stanley will get gangsta on you,"
says Nelson George, who worked with Crouch here at
the Voice, in the 1980s. "There is nothing more
gangsta than just walking up and pimp-slapping
someone. Not even punching them, just slapping them,
almost
as a sign of disrespect."
It's almost unfair to accuse Crouch of taking a page
from, say, Masta Killa—Crouch was smacking critics
when hip-hop was still laceless shelltops and battle
raps. Along with being one of the great essayists of
his generation, Crouch has always been a man who took
Ishmael Reed's Writin' Is Fightin' a little too
seriously. During his colorful tenure at this paper,
Crouch repeatedly threatened editors and menaced
fellow writers. By the time Crouch left, he'd sealed
his rep as an iconoclastic curmudgeon and a critic
without peer. His litany of incidents usually began
with debates over some bit of jazz arcana and
ultimately ended in fisticuffs.
"Stanley deserves better than his own temper" says
jazz writer Peter Watrous, who also worked here with
Crouch. "There are two things that happen at the same
time—one of them is that Stanley is a utopian. He
strongly believes people should behave in certain
way. That combines with an inability to control his
own temper, and it makes for a
bullying streak."
There was the time Crouch was arguing with jazz
writer Russ Musto and told him that if he were a foot
taller he'd knock his block off. Musto kept arguing,
since he knew he wasn't growing any. Crouch went back
on his word, and swung at him anyway. After the two
men were separated, Crouch calmed down and offered to
buy Musto a drink. Musto says they're friends to this
day. Then there's what happened to Guy Trebay, whom
Crouch stalked through the Voice's old offices
threatening to kill him, relenting only after writer
Hilton Als intervened. Another time, writer Harry
Allen approached Crouch, hoping to exchange some
notes on hip-hop. Instead Crouch, evidently in a bad
mood, caught Allen's neck in the cobra clutch,
prompting the Voice to give Crouch his walking
papers.
By then the Hanging Judge had secured his rep as king
of the literal literary brawlers—an accolade that
ranks right up there with prettiest journalist.
Really now, administering beat-downs to pencil-
necked critics is about as macho as spousal abuse,
croquet—or gangsta
rap.
Much like the acts he derides, Crouch has a taste for
swinging that is nothing short of a variation on the
"I ain't no punk" theme seemingly encoded on the DNA
of all black males. "I have a kind of Mailer-esque
reaction to the way some people view writers," Crouch
once told The New Yorker. "I want them to know that
just because I write doesn't mean I can't also
fight." Put another way, Crouch wants you know he
keeps it gangsta.
"People perceive writers as being soft and not
assertive. And there is a legacy of writers, going
back to Hemingway, asserting their masculinity in an
overt way," says George. "Maybe it gives Stanley
personal satisfaction, but I don't think it's
necessary. This is something you'd expect from a
rapper in The Source's office because they got three
mics in a review."
Crouch's street mojo also adds another layer of
mystique, particularly for his white fans. His brand
of withering attacks against black nationalism and
the black left would normally open the assailant to
essentialist charges about his "blackness." But to
the frustration of his targets, Crouch is the real
deal for the Tina Brown set. From his jazz criticism,
to his folksy Southern lilt, down to his willingness
invoke the ghost of Joe Louis, Crouch always manages
to sound like his ghetto pass is at the ready.
Even if in his writing Crouch derides the ethics of
the street, his actions close the distance between
him and the gangsta rappers he abhors, making
cartoons of them all. Both could live without the
electric slide, whop, or moonwalk. Both could give up
the cross-over
and dunk.
But never let it be said that he who purports to be a
black male gives up the beast. That it's all an act,
and he really won't kick your ass. That in the middle
of politicking over Fitzgerald,
Faulkner, and tea, he won't go David Banner, upturn
your table of crumpets and coffee-cake, grab you by
the collar, drag you out into the darkest alley, and
show you that, yes, what you have heard is true. That
he will not swing through on his dick and snatch your
Jane on a vine like Tarzan. Never let it be said that
Jim Brown was not the essence of him. Never let it be
said that he—whether Crip or Crouch—failed to be a
nigga.
Tags: Saswat, History, Racism, Black Power